tiredness.

finally a day of relaxation and staying home-ness.

I think that's the craziest Christmas I've ever had.


it was crazy fun! but now I have to stock up on energy for NY at campfire.

they're gone. but the partying continues.

my relatives left at 6:00 this morning. and yes, I got up to say goodbye. (I didn't cry!)

haha. and then I went back to bed. It felt good.

So today my whole family, minus me of course, went to Blue Mountain with my mom's brother to go skiing/snowboarding for the first time ever. Lucky them. I'm staying home...and going to another Christmas thing...and protecting my very important limbs from breakage.


What do I do at home all alone? For a whole entire morning? Well, pumping the stereo is a given...maybe I'll work on my puzzle.....and take a nap:)

it's begun.

partying has begun....

and their visit is almost half over already:(


I like jamming and recording with Curtis (my "pretty much" super tall, fun, ever-laughing cousin) he reminds me of Chris Muis:P

yeah. I love Christmas for all the family fun.

CHRISTmas.

I was sitting on the couch by the tree reading my Bible and it hit me all over again.


Christmas is not about trees. It's about a baby, who is called

Wonderful
Counsellor
Mighty God
Everlasting Father
Prince of Peace

Amazing love. Amazing miracle of love.

house invasion!

my aunt and uncle and four cousins from NC are coming tomorrow night!!

I'm super excited. even though my room will be invaded by my two younger sisters for almost a week. it's worth it.

when your mind won't stop.

i fell asleep listening to Jack Johnson last night.

trees.

Christmas trees smell so good. mmmm...so good!

I love looking at them, looking at the presents underneath.

"Christmas" is so pretty.

christmas is in the air.

my Christmas looks like it will consist of:

• opening gifts and hanging out with my family
• my aunt and uncle and four cousins from NC
• food, tons of it!
• playing in church on Christmas morning
• sharing gifts
• caroling on Christmas Eve
• skating with my church
• family gatherings
• sleeping in as long as I want
• maybe reading a book
• practicing piano...
• Christmas music, hopefully Sufjan
• meeting lots of new people
• and hopefully, lots of snow...just no snow storms please:)

I'm pretty excited...only two more days of studying and finishing cards and gifts. Wow, I can't believe it's actually almost here.

thoughts on version of the Bible.

i think i like the NIV. i've been hearing it a lot lately in church, and hearing it in youth group Bible studies too. and i think i like it. sometimes it has words that i like better or i can identify with easier. and other times it has way better sentence construction!

it won't stop.

it just keeps snowing. and snowing and snowing! and it's so beautiful. better than beautiful. gorgeous! so much gorgeousness:)

.

snowed in.

church was cancelled this morning.


oh snow. i love the cozy feeling it leaves you with when you're "snowed in" and you have a coffee in your hand as you watch the snow coming down. and you're home with your family.

yet, i still would rather go to church.

coldplay.

on sunday i heard this song for the first time. i almost cried.

and now i'm borrowing Nadine's zen and i've been listening to it over and over.

i love it.

FIX YOU

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

i like the relaxing sound of coldplay. and their songs about feelings and life. even though they don't always give hope...the hope of Christ. it just triggers something in me.

"You're will be done"

2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

'But he said to me,

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power

is made perfect in weakness." Therefore

I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,

so that Christ's power may rest on me.

That is why, for Christ's sake,

I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardshps,

in persecutions, in dfficulties.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.'

i'm blogging this for Ben and Anton:)

yup.


because i played a harpsichord on Monday before the choir concert.

and i didn't just play anything on it. i played a fugue.



wish you could have heard it. it would have made you laugh.

sorry everyone else....there's an inside joke here:)

yes!

someone's stress is over tonight.

i found it.

http://www.myspace.com/dustinkensrue

the other songs aren't my favorite. but Please Come Home is pretty good.

friends forever.

a recent email from a dear friend since i was small, who i have so many precious memories with, and a prelude played by another friend last night, and reading blogs, and talking to people has renewed my passion for this song.

i can never thank God enough for people. and more than that, for friends.

Words: Deborah D. Smith
Music: Michael W. Smith

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

With the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show

But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

concert.

it went well. very well indeed.

Sonia is close the the best director ever.


all praise to God for His indescribable gift of love.

christmas.

choir concert in 5 hours. i'm the pianist for the highschool choir.

oh dear.


i'm getting sick of Christmas and the holiday festivities haven't even begun.

oh dear.

dance with all your might.

i've decided i like dancing.

ie. square dancing


i'll teach you sometime. it's so much fun.

~~~~

and weekends are very nice.

yeah.

sometimes that's just how hard rain comes down.
~unknown

please come home. please come home. I love you.

i've gotten a lot of good songs from a good friend lately. i really like this one. it is based on the story of the prodigal son from Luke 15:11-32. i know, i know...songs aren't the same when you're just reading the lyrics rather than hearing the musical version. but i couldn't on the mySpace site for this song, so...this will have to do

. . . . . . .

Well, I woke one morning
Found you staring down at me
You said "I'll take my share now, father please"
And you took your money
And you took your leave
You drilled my heart and turned your back on me

And you hit the town
And you hit the bottle hard
You race 'round in your fancy cars and you blow all your money
On brothels, beds, and bars
Before you know your broken times get hard

I still stand here waiting
With my eyes fixed on the road
And I fight back tears and I wonder
If you're ever coming home
Don't you know son that I love you
And I don't care where you've been
So please come home

And now you've hit bottom
All those open doors have shut
And you're hungry stomach's tied in knots
But I know what you're thinking
That you troubled me enough
Nothing could ever separate you from my love

I still stand here waiting
With my eyes fixed on the road
And I fight back tears and I wonder
If you're ever coming home
Don't you know son that I love you
And I don't care where you've been

Yes and I'll be right here waiting
'Till you come around the bend
And I run to you and hold you close
Won't let go again

So, please come home
Please come home

Don't you know son that I love you?
And I don't care where you've been
Please come home

~ Dustin Kensrue

overflow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

flow over Your rivers into my life. of:

joy
contentment
love
compassion
kindness
selflessness
trust
patience
hope
humility
faith



i am called to worship You.
i will wait for You

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

exams=stress

so apparently some people thought my last post was
interesting:)

- - - - - - - -

and here I sit while millions of people my age are stressing about exams. I'm glad I'm not one of them. I just stress out for them because I know what exams are like. Well, not four in one week, but I know exams are stressful. I think I'll be there in the spring. Don't get too jealous of me yet:) My time is coming. One Advanced Harmony 5 exam and one History 5 Romantic Era to the Present exam within two days in May, and a lovely Practical ARCT Piano (with two parts, one playing, and one teaching) exam in June. ugh. So while I support all you in exams right now, I expect it all back in a few months. :)

commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established. proverbs 16:3

a little look at what i study day in and day out.

okay. so this is a really boring post. i don't blame you for not reading the whole thing. or not reading any of it. but here is a small itty bitty glimpse of what i study and teach myself everyday in music history. like i said, this is only a very small portion of it.

its pretty exciting. but boring. at the same time. if that's even possible.

- - - - - - - - - -

The life and music of:

Robert Schumann (1810-1856)

Robert Schumann was born in Zwickau, Germany, to a bookseller who passed on his literary love to his son. At his mother’s insistence, he studied law, first at the University of Leipzig, then at Heidelberg. During this time, he immersed himself in the poetry of Byron and Goethe, attending an occasional lecture, and surrendered himself more and more to his passion for music, daydreaming at the piano. After convincing his mother, he returned to Leipzig to study under one of the foremost teachers of the day, Friedrich Wieck. He practiced intensively to make up for his late start, but physical difficulties in his right hand fingers ended his hopes as a pianist. He turned to composing, and in a burst of creative energy, composed his most important piano works while still in his 20s. His literary bent found expression in The New Journal of Music, which he founded, and under his direction, it became one of the most important journals for music criticism in Europe.

In the 1830s, his hectic life was intensified by his courtship of the gifted pianist and composer, Clara Wieck, daughter of his teacher. Her father opposed the marriage with a vehemence that bordered on the psychopathic. Clara was his supreme achievement, and he refused to surrender her to another. The couple was forced to go the court against him, and in 1840, they were married. Robert was 30, and Clara 21. This was Robert’s year of song, in which he composed over 100 Lieder, which represent his lyric gift at its purest.

The two musicians settled in Leipzig, pursuing their careers side by side. Clara became the foremost interpreter of Robert’s piano music, and contributed greatly to the spread of his fame. But neither her love, nor that of their children, could ward off the growing withdrawal from society that plagued her husband. Moodiness and nervous exhaustion grew into a severe breakdown in 1844. The couple moved to Dresden where he appeared to recover. However, the periods of depression returned even more frequently.

In 1850, Schumann was named the director of Düssendorf, but he was ill suited for public life, so he had to retire from the post. He began to complain of unnatural noises in his head. He continued to experience auditory hallucinations, once even rising in the middle of the night to write down a theme he imagined had been brought to him by spirits of Schubert and Mendelssohn. This was his last melody. A week later, in a fit of depression, he threw himself in the Rhine river, and was rescued by fishermen. Clara had no choice but to place him in a private asylum near Bonn, where he died two years later.

Schumann is the true romantic. His piano pieces brim with impassioned melodies, novel changes in harmony, and driving rhythms. He often attached literary meanings to his music, giving them characteristic titles. He was especially fond of cycles of short pieces connected by a literary theme or musical motto.

Schumann ranks second only to Schubert in composing Lieder. A common theme he liked to use was love, especially from a woman’s point of view. His four symphonies are Romantic in feeling, and communicate a lyric freshness that has preserved their appeal.

- - - - - - - - - -

like i said. i don't blame you for not reading all of that.

:P

a gift.

someone i've worked with for the past two summers gave me a really amazingly good Christmas present at LW.

druppies!! and not just a few....a huge bag of them. double salted and everything.


oooh man. so good....and addicting:)


and embarrassingly enough, a funny story is attached to them...cough cough.


thank you Sarah!

tired.

Living Worship was great! Wentworth was good.

. . . but my vocal chords are dead. and i'm super tired.



i need a week to catch up on sleep. and get my energy back.


before next weekend hits.

challenges. encouragement.

. . . . . . .
i like it when friends challenge and encourage me to think more. to think deeper. to go deeper than the surface. the business of everyday life. to analyze things. to dig deep inside and search for things.

bad things.

good things.

hard things.

easy things.

confusing things.



what I really believe.

what my life looks like.

what it looks like in comparison to the Bible.

what it looks like with my family. with my friends.

with God.


because too often i find myself floating through life. not thinking about what is important. not comparing what i'm doing and living with what it truth. the Bible. and not living it for God. giving it to Him in prayer. everyday.

so to all the precious people in my life who do that - thank you.

and thank you God for the gift of those people.
. . . . . . .

christmas music.

if you haven't found Christmas music that you like yet...among all the so-called annoying music you hear on the radio and in the malls these days....

listen to Sufjan Steven's five Christmas Albums. you'll love them.


i think i like them because they don't always have perfect intonation. or perfect harmonies. they improvise. make up parts. they're just having fun singing and playing Christmas songs. they're sharing their joy of Christmas with the world. and don't care if it's not perfect.

and it's beautiful. easy to listen to. relaxing. in a Sufjan kind of way.



oh, i love Christmas music. gives me the fuzzy, warm feel of winter and Christmas time.

LW.

Living Worship is in TWO days!!!!!



YES! i'm totally pumped.

don't do this.

i hate it when i turn to people instead of God.

Christ in our place.

.

something that i have been reading a lot over the past few weeks, and been thinking about, is this passage. it never ceases to amaze me that this is true. and that God would do this for His enemies, sinners...us. you. me.

Romans 5:6-11
6 for when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
7 for scarcely for a righteaous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die.
8 but God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9 much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him.
10 for if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.
11 and not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

and as a result of this joy in being reconciled, we are to live for Him. give ourselves fully to God. our bodies. our thoughts. our hearts. our souls. every second. every action.

Romans 6:11-14
11 likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
12 therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.
13 and do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
14 for sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under the law but under grace.

.

confronted.

i've been confronted. confronted by God's Word.

our youth conference on Saturday went really well. our speaker was Rev. VanOlst from Rehoboth URC in Hamilton. his two talks were entitled "Called to Live the Christian Life" and "How to Life the Christian Life".

God showed me a lot of things. things that I still need to process. hard stuff. wonderful stuff. stuff to battle and wrestle with.

living the Christian life is a huge battle. against Satan. and i think sometimes, or more often than sometimes, i forget my first love (Rev.2).

if you love Me, keep My commandments.
and I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper,
that He may abide with you forever-
the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive,
because it neither sees Him nor knows Him;
but you know Him, for He dwells with you
and will be IN you.
I will not leave you orphans;
I will come to you.
John 14:15-18

wrapped up . . .

. . . in love.

but God demonstrates His own love toward us,

in that while we were still sinners,

Christ died for us.

romans 5:8

that's what I'm feeling right now. wrapped up in God's love.

God loves me. unconditionally. and sent His only Son to this earth. for me.

sometimes it is better to just dwell on the simplicity of God, and not try to figure Him out, or wonder if He's there. i know He's there. and that He loves me. because the Bible says He does. and if i'm not trying to reason it all out, i believe it with all my heart.

assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted

and become as little children,

you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.

matthew 18:3

like i said. wrapped in God's love.

for i am persuaded that neither death nor life,

nor angels nor principalities nor powers,

not things present not things to come,

nor height nor depth,

nor any other created thing,

shall be able to separate us from the love of God

which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

romans 8:38-39

let it snow.

okay, i really don't like that song. playing it a million times every Christmas at the ballet studio has worn any of its goodness out of me. but it fits right now.

this morning i woke up to snow. and i was grumpy about it. i didn't want to have to go out in it. it looked cold and windy and miserable outside.

and then i went out in it. all afternoon. for music lessons.

and i decided that i was being ridiculous. kidding myself out of enjoying something so beautiful. so clean. so white. it made me think and feel these two things:

1. it made me think of how God washes us in Christ's blood. and makes us, as the metaphor goes, "white as snow".

2. its giving me the cozy feeling of a warm house, with a hot chocolate in your hand, and looking outside at the beauty of the ice cold snow covering the brownness of the earth. it's giving me the Christmas spirit. a month early:)

so let it snow. and snow. and snow.

again.

never under-estimate God. in any situation.

every time I do, He proves Himself yet again. and again.


i don't deserve it. but it brings me to my knees when He shows His power and love.

from my music history studying.

The practice of [music] is . . . a great part of my inner self. To me, it is the very air I breathe.
~ Clara Schumann

okay, so maybe not the air i breathe, but pretty close.

it's a huge-mungous part of my life anyway:)

wasteland. by mark mathis.

a song i've listened to a lot lately. and love it.


welcome to the wasteland of changed plans
where everything just fell through
welcome to the racetracks of broken backs
of men who just weren't strong enough

so lay your head upon this pillow
I'll be here if you want to sleep
I know you're tired of being alone
you'll be safe with Me

welcome to the graveyard where the hollow people are
who's bodies smell of the earth
i can see the toothless grins of the skeletons
that haunt you in the dark

so lay your head on this pillow
I'll be here if you want to sleep
I know you're tired of being alone
you'll be safe with Me

i was talking to me friend the other day
we were thinking about running away
all this emptiness erased
we're still running today
we're still running the race

welcome to the graceland of clean hands
where God has set us free
from all those empty, useless, vile things
that once was attached to me
i can see the cold, hard chains nailed to a tree
You set me free
i can feel the warmth of His blood
as i run through the stream

(i wasn't perfectly sure what he sings in the last line!
the cd doesn't come with printed lyrics,
and he didn't post them on the internet,
so i had to listen and hope these words are the right ones!!)

the free gift: grace.

this past weekend, I read the whole book of Romans at one time. I think doing that is so much more powerful, and makes everything so much easier to undestand in its context if you read a book that way.

one of the things that really stuck out at me was the fact that whether I am a Jew or a Gentile, my faith is not anything to be proud of. the only reason I believe is because of the FREE GIFT that God has given to me, FAITH by GRACE.

and since that is true, and God is not a God of partiality, in anything, we must never look down on others for what they do, or what they believe. we are no better than them. if God is not a God of partiality, there are no "white" sins or "black" sins. it is all the same, all just as horrible and ugly.

we are all sinners. and the only reason for our faith is free grace.

for when we were still without strength,

in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

for scarcely for a righteous man will one die;

yet perhaps for a good man

someone would even dare to die.

but God demonstrates His own love toward us,

in that while we were still sinners,

Christ died for us.

much more then, having now been justified by His blood,

we shall be saved from wrath through Him.

for if when we were enemies we were reconciled

to God through the death of His Son,

much more,

having been reconciled,

we shall be saved by His life.

and not only that,

but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

~Romans 5:6-11

more wedding pics.

it's kind of oldish news now, but i found another blog with pictures from Steve and Amy's wedding. there's are really nice one of Maria (Amy's sister) and i on there:) (for those of you who i promised to show pictures since I didn't get any. check it out. again, it's one of Steve's sisters blogs. you'll have to scroll down a bit, but you'll find them!!

http://www.myportionforever.blogspot.com/

fridays.

i think friday is my second favorite day (sunday is the best). because friday is the last study day before the weekend. firday means a whole day at home with no where to go all day. and it means baking:) which i like doing.

the weekend means i get to forget about the stress of studying for two whole days (except for practicing). and it usually involves family time, friends time, time with God and His family. spiritual encouragment. youth group. time when i get to be bored. which i admit, i don't like very much. but it's good all the same. because during the week, that time never finds me. it involves work at the ballet studio (which is the worst part about the weekends).

the weekend means God and church and singing and worship and the family of God.

Give unto the Lord the glory due His name;

Worship the Lord in the beauty (splendor) of holiness.

Psalm 29:2

i like the weekend.

home alone.

it's weird being home alone. what do you do when you're home alone?

i play music and sing really loud. or turn up my favorite cd. just to break the silence. (and cause then i know no one is watching and listening to my cracking voice:)






maybe i should re-think that. and use the silence for God time and prayer. with no distractions.

gotta go.

it's good to take a walk and notice the beauty around you when you're busy and troubled.

hmm.

my brother just came downstairs with a big peace of chocolate cake and icecream for me. now all that's missing is coffee.

sometimes life just seems too complicated. and other times it just seems too wonderful.

right now it's complicated.



i'm thinking i wouldn't survive this without God. and i'm really thankful for prayer and the Bible right now.

sorry.

"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteaous man avails much." 1 Peter 5:16

busy.

when life is too busy, i've discovered that as long as you don't forget about God, you'll make it.

and that reading people's blogs and talking with people about stuff is really encouraging. like filling up with gas. or eating when you're hungry.

God is amazing. and i wish i had a better way to describe what i mean, but He's that awesome. there aren't any words to describe Him and His goodness and love.

servants.

This is something that has been on my mind...without fail, continually...all week. And something I need some answers for.

Brother, let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I may have the grace
To let you be my servant, too

We are pilgrims on a journey
We are brothers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load

I will hold the Christlight for you
In the night-time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the peace you long to hear

I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh I'll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through

When we sing to God in heaven
We shall find such harmony
Born of all we've known together
Of Christ's love and agony

Brother, let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I may have the grace
To let you be my servant, too

revelation. of revelation.

Yesterday when I was in the waiting room at my harmony teachers house, listening to her play the piano, I was reading Revelation 1. This is what I read. Read it carefully. "See" the majesty and awesomeness of our King, Jesus Christ!

REVELATION CHAPTER ONE

Introduction and Benediction
1 The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave Him to show His servants - things which must shortly take place. And He sent and signified it by His angel to His servant John,
2 who bore witness to the word of God, and to the testimony of Jesus Christ, to all things that he saw.
3 Blessed is he who reads and those who hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written in it; for the times is near.

Greeting the Seven Churches
4 John, to the seven churches which are in Asia:
Grace to you and peace from Him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven Spirits who are before His throne,
5 and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler over the kings of the earth. To Him who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood.
6 and has made us kings and priets to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
7 Behold, He is coming with clouds, and every eye will see Him, even they who pierced Him. And all the tribes of the earth will mourn because of Him. Even so, Amen.
8 "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End," says the Lord, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty."

Vision of the Son of Man
9 I, John, both your brother and companion in the tribulation and kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was on the island that is called Patmos for the word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ.
10 I was in the Spirit on the Lord's Day, and I heard behind me a loud voice, as of a trumpet,
11 saying, "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last," and, "What you see, write in a book and send it to the seven churches which are in Asia: to Ephesus, to Smyrna, to Pergamos, to Thyatira, to Sardis, to Philadelphia, and to Laodicea."
12 Then I turned to see the voice that spoke with me. And having turned I saw seven golden lampstands,
13 and in the midst of the seven lampstands One like the Son of Man, clothed with a garment down to the feet and girded about the chest with a golden band.
14 His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire;
15 His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters;
16 He had in His right hand seven stars, out of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was like the sun shining in its strength.
17 And when I saw Him, I feel at His feet as dead. But He laid His right hand on me, saying to me, "Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last.
18 "I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and Death.
19 "Write the things which you have seen, and the things which are, and the things which will take place after this.
20 "The mystery of the seven stars which you saw in My right hand, and the seven golden lampstands: The seven stars are the angels of the seven churches, and the seven golden lampstands which you saw are the seven churches."

I don't think I'll ever be able to hear the greeting of verses 4b-6 in church again without praising God for those words, and for what they mean.

And then today, my 8 year old brother was practicing his memory work for Sunday School. It was this verse:

" Give unto the Lord the glory due to His name;
Worship the Lord in the beauty (splendor) of holiness."
Psalm 29:2

Yeah, pretty amazing. And just...

Hmm...think about it. The holiness and compassion and love and majesty and splendor of our eternal, glorious God and Father.

to be there.

what are friends for?

to be there.

to be there for each other. that's what i need most in a friend. what i cherish most in a friend. what i love most about the ones i have.

and the only thing i can do is thank the One who gave them to me. even when i don't deserve them. they're there anyway.

for something completely different from my last post.

As a piano teacher, I recommend you watch this hilarious video from youtube.com

Seriously...it's soooo good. Watch some of the other videos from igudesman and joo. They're very talented, but also very humorous. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOQaK7NHY-4

hold on.

It's snowing? Okay, I'm not quite ready for that yet. Wait a few more weeks.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I read this last night.

PSALM 77

To the Chief Musician.

To Jeduthun.

A Psalm of Asaph.

I cried out to God with my voice -

To God with my voice;

And He gave ear to me.

In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord;

My hand was stretched out in the night without ceasing;

My soul refused to be comforted. I remembered God,

And was troubled;

I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed.

SELAH.

You hold my eyelids open;

I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

I have considered the days of old,

The years of ancient times.

I call to remembrance my song in the night;

I meditate within my heart,

And my spirit makes diligent search.

Will the Lord cast off forever?

And will He be favorable no more?

Has His mercy ceased forever?

Has His promise failed forevermore?

Has God forgotten to be gracious?

Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies?

SELAH.

And I said, "this is my anguish;

But I will remember the years of

the right hand of the Most High."

I will remember the works of the Lord;

Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.

I will also meditate on all Your work.

And talk of Your deeds.

Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary;

Who is so great a God as our God?

You are the God who does wonders;

You have declared Your strength among the peoples.

You have with Your arm redeemed Your people,

The sons of Jacob and Joseph.

SELAH.

The waters saw You, O God;

The waters saw You, they were afraid;

The depths also trembled.

The clouds poured out water;

The skies sent out a sound;

Your arrows also flashed about.

The voice of Your thunder was in the whirlwind;

The lightnings lit up the world;

The earth trembled and shook.

Your way was in the sea,

Your path in the great waters,

And Your footsteps were not known.

You led Your people like a flock

By the hand of Moses and Aaron.

just cause i feel like talking.

I can't believe it's already November. Time flies when you're having fun. Fun? Okay, when you're busy with....tons of stuff.

I hate distractions. They are really bad. And I'm easily distracted. "Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established." Prov. 16:3 That's taking it literally, and probably twisting it a bit, but yeah. I need a verse for this. Any suggestions?

The guy that I rented a keyboard from at Long and McQuade in Cambridge this morning is pretty cool. He asked me how much I know about piano. So I told him I was working on my ARCT and he said he did that too. And then he asked me if I study anything besides classical stuff for the RCM...and of course, I said no. So he showed me a bit of cool jazz stuff. And how to do it. It looked pretty easy and sweet, but I'll have to practice it a bit. Pretty sweet stuff.

I love music. It's pretty much the best thing in the world...aside from God, and people. I hope I never stop learning cool things about it cause learning new things about music gets me super excited about it. And I like being excited about music. And good thing too, cause it's pretty much going to be a part of my life for...well, the rest of my life:) Sweetness!

Okay, so I think I'm really happy today. I like being happy. Sigh. :)

joy.

get joy. it's necessary. without joy, you'll die.


you'll suffocate.

"a merry heart makes a cheerful countenance,
but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."
Proverbs 15:13


Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS.

pictures!

so mom found a blog with wedding pictures on it....and if you scroll down once you get past the wedding pictures, there are also some bridal shower ones too:)

it's one of Steve's sisters' blogs. enjoy!

http://asformeandmyhouse.blogspot.com/

amy and steve are married!!

so they're married. i can still hardly believe it's real.



the fact that i'm exhausted and slept like a baby reminds me of the long, hectic, but fun and happy day. so i know it's real.




i love you amy and steve! God bless.

sigh. of sadness, happiness, excitement, nervousness, etc.:)

it's tomorrow.






.

gulp. (of excitement and nervousness).

three more days until Amy and Steve get married.


three more days until they aren't Amy Vogel and Steve Williamson anymore.


three more days until they are:

Mr. and Mrs. Steve and Amy Williamson

yikes!!

this is sometimes how i feel.

i write clever words on paper
i sometimes think i dont belive at all
ive never felt so fake
so false
im such a liar
i couldnt even look him in the eyes
he was 25 like i was
but he was deaf and slowly going blind
he made my faith seem worthless
the things i hoped were pointless
and he fought to stay but
always dreamed that he could leave this place

the angels wings will cover you tonight
hallelujah
press your head
against the breast of christ
hallelujah

It made me feel so empty
collapsing on some dirty bathroom floor
and isn't it just like me to warn his passing breath
when he will never suffer anymore
beautiful his pictures
fading black and silver
and i sing of faith but his was true and fierce
and i will miss him

the angels wings will cover you tonight
hallelujah
press your head against the breast of christ
hallelujah

the angels wings will cover you tonight
hallelujah
press your head against the breast of christ
hallelujah

Estrella by BraveSaintSaturn

happy sigh.

it's interesting to listen to someone tune a piano. that's what i'm doing right now.


it's very satisfying to hear two notes played together go from making you cringe to sounding perfectly in tune.



i wonder if that's how God feels when He points out things in our lives and we repent of them. and strive to live righteous before Him.

it can hurt when God tries to tune us by His Word. but the result can be wonderful if we let God work.

God is good.

Happy Thanksgiving.

"Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles!
Laud Him, all you peoples!
For His merciful kindness is great toward us,
And the truth of the Lord endures forever.
Praise the Lord!"
-Psalm 117

a year.

I was just thinking about Thanksgiving this weekend.

And I realized that on Sunday, it will be one year since I started this blog. This year has been such a long year, and yet it was also so short.

It would be interesting to read all of my posts from the past year. In thinking about all the things I have to thank God for this year, reading things that I wrote about over the past year will help me in remembering all the things I've gone through. All the good times. All the bad times.

another song.

by 4HIM.

Anyone who comes to You
Anyone at all
With arms wide open
Anyone who reaches out
Anytime at all
With a heart that's broken
You will be their shelter
You will have an answer
For anyone who ever cries out
In need

I believe
There You will be

I stand on Your promise
Your love is forever
And I believe with all my heart
You are my one and only Savior
You are the calm when my world falls apart
And to the ends of the earth
And for the rest of my life
I'll carry the light

Anytime I turn to You
Anytime at all
I find You waiting
Waiting for the chance to help me
Hold me, heal me
Show me
Just how amazing life can be
When you know what it is
To be free
To be free

Over the mountains
Into the valleys
Crossing the oceans
I'll carry the light
And through the darkness
And to all the hopeless
For all the broken


Thank You Jesus!

gloria.

Gloria, in excelces deo. 

Glory, gloria. 

Too weak to wonder, 

too tired to care, 

Jesus Christ, are you really there? 

I've fallen down, 

Can't pull myself back up. 

I'm going to drown, have mercy, 

Have mercy. 

I need you now, 

Not words or a feeling. 

But Jesus Christ, 

I've hit the ceiling. 

Your love, 

Your mercy, 

Your light unending. 

Your hope, 

Your peace, 

Your strength my heart is mending.

rain.

i love rain. there is something about it that makes me feel . . . content, i guess.

maybe because it reminds me of how rain is another word to describe trials. it's cool if you think about it. rain nourishes the ground. and it promises that the sun will shine through the clouds soon. it is the same with trials. whether we realize it at the time or not, trials nourish us. God sends them our way to test and strengthen our faith and trust in Him. but He doesn't leave us in those trials. the hope of rescue, joy, peace, and safety are promised after the rain.

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: 'fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.' Isaiah 43:1-3a

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of you faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,

My grace all-sufficient shall be thy supply;

The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design

Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

i wasn't planning on going any further than this, but it is interesting to note what the word dross means here. waste or impure matter; worthless or dangerous material that should be removed. rain also washes away the dirt and dust. trials purge the impurities from our lives. things that shouldn't be there. God teaches us things through trials that we can't learn any other way.

don't stop...don't get distracted.

pray often; for it is
a shield to the soul,
a sacrifice to God,
and a scourge for Satan.
- John Bunyan

a listening ear.

so i've discovered something that i love, besides music. it kind of scares me to be honest. it's kind of weird, but i really do love it. a lot.

here it is: i love to listen to people. what they're going through, their struggles, things they need to sort out and talk to someone about. i love it when people come to me and talk to me about that stuff. it somehow makes me happy. even though it's not usually happy things they tell me.

what bothers me is that i never quite know what to say to comfort or encourage them. but i love being there for them. and just having someone they can tell hopefully helps them a little.

another thing that is annoying about it is that i can't just simply fix everything for them. i hate to see hurt and confussion and difficulty in the lives of people i love.

all i can think of is this:

"bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" Ephesians 6:2

devistating.

Some friends of mine wear these t-shirts that say

abort73.com


I always wanted to check it out. and then I did
it was hard to even look at the pictures and videos let alone read any info.



check it out for yourself. I have no words to describe it.

maybe I'll get my own shirts. people should, no, people NEED to know.

why.

ever wonder why it is that God chose you?



why He chose you to share His love with?

why He chose you to send His Son to be crucified for you?

why He would care about a sinful creature that doesn't give Him all the glory due Him?

why He loves you despite your continuous falling and doubting?


i do.

ponderings.

after a very different summer than all the other summers of my short life, i think i have learned some valuable lessons. hopefully i don't forget them anytime soon.


God is never going to let you go, even if you feel like He is far away. and He speaks to you through people and the Bible the most.

stress is a good excuse to pray...hard; and read the last few verses of Isaiah 40 over and over.

the Bible is the most interesting, comforting book in this entire world. and i hope i never take it for granted.

making friends is fun, especially when they are people who you didn't expect to ever become close too. or when you thought you couldn't get any closer to a close friend, you do.

the older you get, the more complicated life seems. the more problems and trials people seem to have. the more i want to help people that are close to me to get through them and pray for them.

prone to wander.

Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy praise
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it
Mount of Thy unchanging love

Here I raise my Ebeneezer
Hither by Thy help I'm come
And I hope by Thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home
Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the fold of God
He to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood

Oh to Grace, how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be
Let that grace now like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, oh, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above







If every a song expressed my thoughts, this one does now.

youth group camping.

that was an intense weekend. countless unforgetable memories.

Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is with you

He is mighty to save

He will take great delight in you

He will quiet you with His love

And He will rejoice singing over you

He will quiet you with His love

Yes He will rejoice singing over you

For with you He takes great delight

He will lighten your load

Gather you

He will rescue you

He will rescue you

He will lift you up

Wipe away the pain

He will rescue you

He will rescue you

i found peace.

read Isaiah 40. I love my dad. He talked to me last night about my stress and stuff and suddenly, all stress and joylessness was gone. THANK YOU GOD!

"To whom then will you liken Me,
Or to whom shall I be equal?" says the Holy One.
Lift up your eyes on high,
And see who has created these things,
Who brings out their host by number;
He calls them all by name,
By the greatness of His might
And the strength of His power;
Not one is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob,
And speak, O Israel;
"My way is hidden from the Lord,
And my just claim is passed over by my God?"
Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.

His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youth shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,

But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

venting.

3 days until Young People's camping:)


sooooooooooo . . . if I'm so excited, why am I letting the stress of planning and preparation and organizing it get in the way of joy? Not just excitement, but pure joy in the present, in what I'm doing, in little passing things of my every-day life.


Thank you God for people like my sister Amy, Brittni, Ben, Catherine and Justine who pray for me and try their best to help me with letting out my stress. Sorry for complaining a lot lately.

Amy just talks with me and sometimes gets involved with the organization even though she doesn't have to!
Brittni promised to set up our tent when we get there ('cause I hate that part) and said Ican sit on a chair and watch everyone else set up camp...i wish:)
Ben lets me vent and relieve stress; in other words, listens.
Catherine listens too, and gives me amazing Bible passages!!!!
Justine can feel when I'm down and spontaneously prays for me when we're hanging out. AND gives super, amazing, long hugs:D

Matthew 6:25-24 and 1 Peter 5:7 are my prayer and hope right now.




even though I love rainy days and we needed it, the rain isn't helping my mood.

camp

i'm back from camp. but i'm too tired to stay up any later and give any details, except that the one thing that i learned, yet again but in a much bigger way, is that the communion of the saints is one of the most amazing things about Christianity. and that God speaks through His Word and through prayer, yes, but He also speaks a lot of the time through people too.

Psalm 18 says something about leaping over a wall and running against a troop with God's help. i understand that passage more than ever.

love

love.



it is vital. it is hard. it is only possible by God's grace to even begin to grasp the meaning of it, let alone live it.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy,
It does not boast,
It is not proud.
It is not rude,
It is no self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,
But rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
Always trusts,
Always hopes,
Always perseveres.

*sigh* That's a lot to think about.

prayer request

Amy and I are going to Campfire! next week (tomorrow). Please pray for us in the following respects. Prayer is powerful!

- lots of sleep:)
- bringing the gospel in a clear way to both the street kids and Christian kids
- being a godly, Christian example to our cabin packs
- working well with our co-councillors
- safe travels to camp and back
- to be able to deal with possible difficult situations that may come up
- God's peace, joy, and love in everything we do, say, and think
- a sense of God's power and presence among us
- anything I may have missed that is important!

Thank God for friends.

They are, I'm convinced, one of the best gifts that God could ever give His children.



In family devos after dinner, we sang Nearer, Still Nearer. It reminded me of a conversation with one of my friends today.


Nearer, still nearer
Close to Thy heart
Draw me, my Savior
So precious Thou art
Fold me, oh fold me
Close to Thy breast
Shelter me safe in that haven of rest
Shelter me safe in that haven of rest

why does music have to be such an expensive career/hobby?

be still.

at Campfire! on Friday night, after we sang and had a devotion and sang some more around the fire, we put out the lamps and had five minutes of silence/prayer/standing in wonder of God's amazing creation and the beautiful starry sky. i don't think i can quite explain how awesome that was and just how at peace with God i felt at the moment. it was an amazing experience!

people don't stand still or just stop enough in this crazy, hectic world that runs 24/7. and if it ever did stop, i doubt it would be to reflect on God. I'm going to do that more often. i think it's a very important part of a Christian's life. silence and being still before God.



Be still, for the presence of the Lord,
The Holy One is hear.
Come bow before Him now,
In reverence and fear.
In Him no sin is found,
We stand on holy ground.
Be still, for the presence of the Lord,
The Holy One is hear.

Brittni

work on friday was totally wonderful. i worked with Brittni all day and it was really nice. she is an awesome girl and has such a great character and is just fun to work with. i like working with people that don't mind silence for a while, but also likes to talk about things besides things that are shallow. thanks for the great day Brittni:)

work.

We listened to both Casting Crowns CDs at work today . . . and lots of other stuff, like Oldies and Disco/Dance. Oldies music is awesome. One of the girls has a CD of all oldies, like BeachBoys and others. The harmonizing and background singing is absolutely amazing. It needs to be brought back. And I heard the "It's Your Birthday" song!!! The one dad sings to us when it's our birthday. Way too much fun:)

Anyway, their (Casting Crowns) music makes me happy inside . . . and also think a lot about myself and what I need to work on and just how much God loves me. It takes my breath away every time, especially when they sing "Who Am I".




Okay, so that did not at all do justice to how much fun and just . . . nice, work was today.

partay!

Psalm 139 / Psalm 52 / Ephesians 2

Lyrics: Mark Hall / Music: Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name

Would care to feel my hurt

Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star

Would choose to light the way

For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

A vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin

Would look on me with love and watch me rise again

Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea

Would call out through the rain

And calm the storm in me

I am Yours

Whom shall I fear

Whom shall I fear

'Cause I am Yours

I am Yours